Should A Wannabe Influencer Friend Cease Exploiting People for Content?

One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?